The Tree

Katie's Tree
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Katie Katie Katiedid
Hey baby girl. Guess what song's playing? Everything's Not Lost, Coldplay. We had that played at your funeral. Where are you? Why aren't you here? Not to be melancholy, but I miss you like crazy. I always think to call you and then realize I can't. I dial your number sometimes. I called one of them once and some guy answered. I was like, I've got the wrong number. and he goes, "are you sure?" I was like...yeah...I'm sure. anyway...just when i said i was gonna write because i didn't wanna keep any secrets, something happened that i was afraid to write. you won't believe it. Kelsey's pregnant. and she's going to keep it. zoey and kayden are in foster care. i just don't understand. i mean...i do. she doesn't want to have an abortion, but i just don't know how she can manage. aaron called me last night and said she's been drinking. she doesn't tell me now i guess. i have to tell ol' what's her name, april. cuz if i don't, they think i'm a bad grandma and keep secrets from them. i'm so over them though, i just want zoey and kayden to be ok. kelsey has to take care of her own demons. ya know, kate...i am so tired. i am so tired of not knowing what to do. do you know that's why i ran away so much? i just didn't know what to do. that was so wrong. i'm not going to do it again. but DAMN! i'm sick of it. so...on to the good stuff. we had a nice, peaceful christmas. kam is home for 2 weeks and i have to work, but that's ok. i like my job. i started exercising again and let me tell ya...i'm old! lol it hurts! the other thing i didn't tell you is.......ok......wait for it.......i finally had my boobs done...AND liposuction. i know...kind of extreme....but i wanted it! and it actually looks pretty good. i still need to lose the weight that i gained after you died. it just won't seem to come off. could be all the butter and sweets i eat! ya think???? anyway...i gotta get to work, but when that song started playing, i just had to come see ya. i love you baby. i miss you and would love for you to "visit" me. love, momma
Labels:
daughter,
grief,
katherine katie fernihough,
lonliness,
parenting
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Katie Katie Katie
Hi Kate. Ohhhhh I miss you. I love you. I've always loved you so much. I wish you could come back for just one day! I'm at work but wanted to visit you. I have so much to say to you. I'll be back soon. Love you, Momma
Labels:
katherine katie fernihough,
powerless,
sorrow
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Hey Sweetie!
Hi Katie Sweetie.
I have like....zero time to chat here today (maybe i can do more tonight), but i wanted to stop by. My day is so much better today than yesterday. I really think it's cuz I stopped by here and talked. It just makes me feel better. I miss you so much. Here's a pic of Kayden. Is he delicious or WHAT???
I have like....zero time to chat here today (maybe i can do more tonight), but i wanted to stop by. My day is so much better today than yesterday. I really think it's cuz I stopped by here and talked. It just makes me feel better. I miss you so much. Here's a pic of Kayden. Is he delicious or WHAT???
Monday, December 14, 2009
HA! I'm Back!!!!!!!!!!!!

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