O.M.G. i am MISSING YOU! good god....i need to come here more often! it's just that with kelsey's court and stuff...we just have to be sooooo careful...and i could just see it....something i wrote here being the big obstacle for getting zoey and kayden back to her where they belong. Once CPS (child protective services) (and THAT title is a JOKE!!!) is outta the picture...i can come here to talk to you anytime. ~smiles~ and i don't think they'll be around much longer. we've hired a real attorney, not just some court appointed PRETEND attorney. He's actually awesome...and i don't usually use that word to talk about attorneys! lol....he returns her phone calls...and he totally takes up for her in court and in meetings with CPS. i think you'd approve. kelsey and your dad picked him without my input....so i was all prepared to well....hate him. and i'm happy to say...that's not the case. YAY. he seems really aggressive....and the state has been SO...i dunno...ridiculous about this. they don't seem to be making decisions based on facts. it's more like...kels has done something to piss them off and they're using the kids to punish her. it's freaking crazy....believe me, your name has come up more than once! we're like...OMG....if katie were here.....she's be goin' ballistic!!!! you just wouldn't even believe the shit they've put kelsey through....and it would be one thing if she were not doing EVERYTHING they've told her to do (and then some i might add)....but she IS...and they still won't give them back. they were going to give zoey to so-fucking loser-ter-o. that's when we hired the lawyer. his name is jeff livingston....and he stopped that little fiasco right away! i dig him so far...and the day we stop diggin him...is the day he's fired. this is too important to put up with less than excellence in the fight! :-) kelsey's preggers...AGAIN. UGH. she's 6 months along so i might have written about it before, but i probably didn't. frankly...i was trying to talk her into not having it or giving it up for adoption. of course...she wouldn't. UGH. i have made it very clear to her....if she gets preggers again...i'm like....done. i can't go through it anymore. we love love love those babies....she makes the most wonderful babies....but...EGADS.....how's she EVER gonna get on her feet??? huh??? i ask you!!! lol. i pray for both of you almost every night and every morning except when i forget. i wouldn't mind...if you have any pull with god....if you asked him to help me out too. i never do. but i could use some help. i can't find my joy kate. i know it exists, cuz i had it...but i can't find it now. :-( oh...i know what i was going to tell you.........................................................it's because of you that we can even hire a lawyer for kelsey, zoey and kayden. we are paying for it with the settlement from your death. so even if you can't BE here....you're helping and we thank you SO much for that baby girl. i haven't been able to sleep tonight...(last night now)....so i was thinking of writing a poem to you. this week is Katie Rememberance Week and Katie and Kelsey (twin love) week. i'm posting pics of you and kels all week to commemerate your death. i think...one of the hardest things to deal with....is that fucker taking all of your things off of the tree....
we have no place to go to remember you...and to grieve and honour what happened to you. i'm really fucked up over that. SO...i think...i am going to try and find a great spot to put a Katie Memorial....
where your friends can come and visit to feel closer to you. and i can send flowers on your birthday...and people can drive by...and know that something happened there. i can't believe that guy. it's one of the meanest acts i've ever been subjected to. and it affected me. i need a katie spot. i need me and others to remember you baby
we won't let you go. is this not the coolest heart EVER? i stole it from someone's post on face book! lol. so much is happening in this world kate. new technology...new MUSIC!!! (yes....new music!!! i cannot believe you're not here to share it) so anyway...i've been composing a poem all morning...probably can't remember ANY of it...and it rhymes so i think that means it sucks. lol. oh well...thought that counts...and by the way...sometimes....it might NOT rhyme. hate to be too predictable. :-P ok...smoke and think...and then i'll be back. dig ya grrrrrrrrrrrrl.
we will let you move on...but we won't lose your place here on the big blue ball. :-) mmmmmmmmmmmmmmwah! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!!!